MLB All-Star Game Live Blog!

Some pre-packaged, pre-game thoughts:

• There’s no reason to be surprised or (if you’re one of the dozen existing Rays fans) concerned about the Tampa Bay Rays 7 game losing streak. Think of it as a “regression towards the mean.” The Rays have some top notch starting pitching among Scott Kazmir, James Shields, Matt Garza, and even Andy Sonnanstine has put up 10 wins, but they’re 8th in the American League in runs scored. Their everyday SS, Jason Bartlett, has 9 extra base hits (8 doubles, 1 triple) in 273 at bats! With the exception of rookie Evan Longoria, none of their “big bats” are performing anywhere up to par. From last season to this season, B.J. Upton has gone from a .300/24/82 with a.894 OPS to a .276/6/44 with a .787 OPS; Carl Crawford has gone from a .315/11/84 with a .821 OPS to a .270/8/47 with a .700 OPS; and Carlos Pena has gone from a .282/46/121 with a 1.038 OPS to a .236/14/47 with a .778 OPS. In order for the Rays to seriously compete with the Red Sox for the division crown, they’ll need major improvements from just about every offensive player on their roster in addition to adding at least one big right-handed bat and a shortstop with more power than a little leaguer. Realistically, the Rays are a 90-92 win team and serious contenders for a Wildcard berth, which is nothing to laugh at considering their pathetic team history.
• The Yankees are toast. And I’m not just referring to this season, but to next season as well. A team with a salary of over $200 million should NEVER have gone into a season relying on THREE rookie pitchers to carry them. Joba looks like the real deal but don’t you think they might be reconsidering not giving up Phil Hughes, Ian Kennedy, and Melky Cabrera for Johan Santana now? As it stands, they have somewhere on the order of $75 million coming off the books this offseason (Jason Giambi – $23.5 million, Bobby Abreu – $16 million, Andy Pettite- $16 million, Mike Mussina – $11 million, Carl Pavano – $11 million (remember him), Kyle Farnsworth – $6 million, the main culprits), but as a result they’ll have a number of huge holes. With no minor league position players they can realistically fit into their lineup, how do they not offer Mark Teixera 7 or 8 years at $150 plus million as well as $100 million plus to Ben Sheets and/or CC Sabathia? Not to mention, what do they do with Right Field? Do they sign Pat Burrell or Adam Dunn for $50 plus million, move Johnny Damon back to Center and put Melky Cabrera in Right? No matter what way you slice it, the Yankees will be forced to either overpay for position players or trade some or all of their top prospects for a player like Matt Holliday. And yet again, they’ll need to completely overhaul their bullpen aside from Rivera. They’re a disaster and I’m loving it.
• Most people didn’t notice but the Boston Red Sox may very well have won the World Series during last Friday’s 7-3 loss to the Baltimore Orioles: JULIO LUGO TORE A QUADRICEPS AND WILL BE OUT FOR 4-6 WEEKS! Oh happy day! I’m not sure I’ve ever mentioned this but I have an almost irrational hatred of Julio Lugo. My enjoyment of watching Red Sox games is seriously hampered by his presence on the team. I would actually rather see him strike out with the game on the line rather than get a basehit at this point because of the possibility that that hit might extend his stay on the Red Sox. Now we get to see talented rookie Jed Lowrie take over — something which should have happened last season — and hopefully never give the job up. Julio Lugo getting injured is the equivalent of adding an Albert Pujols or Hanley Ramirez to the lineup, that’s how much he detracts from the team by his presence. At this point, I can’t see how the Red Sox don’t win the World Series — unless they put Lugo back in the lineup in September that is.
• There are 3 Jewish All-Stars out there tonight: 1B Kevin Youkilis (.314/15/63), 2B Ian Kinsler (.337/14/58), and 3B/LF Ryan Braun (.286/23/66). A pretty nice trio I’d say. I don’t know if there are any All-Star Jewish Shortstops on the horizon, but we certainly could put together a nice Jewish infield. Oy!
• My apologies to Cliff Lee, but Roy Halladay should be the starting Pitcher for the AL. I know that Lee has the better record and a slightly better ERA (2.31 to 2.71), but Halladay’s 7 complete games and 2 shutouts are remarkable in this day and age. If Halladay were on any other team than the Blue Jays, he would be openly discussed as one of the great pitchers of his generation.
• I’m usually fairly biased when it comes to anything related to Red Sox-Yankees, but there’s absolutely no question that Mariano Rivera should be the AL closer over Jonathan Pabelpon. Rivera’s had the better season, end of story. But the treatment that Pabelbon and his wife received during this afternoon’s Red Carpet parade of All-Stars down Avenue of the Americas, where he was booed unmercifully and some threats were hurled at him and his wife, was typical no-class chickenshit behavior from Yankees fans that was completely uncalled for. Now I hope Rivera is used in the 5th inning or not at all. Maybe they can detonate Yankee Stadium with those ass-clown “fans” sitting in the stands.

Game time! Finally, mercifully!

Whoops, my bad, the longest pre-game introductions in the history of sport continues.

• George Steinbrenner being wheeled out to the mound doesn’t quite give the same level of chills as when Ted Williams was brought out at the 1999 Fenway Park, does it?
• Ted Williams at Fenway was one of those special moments that only sports can deliver.
• From my fiancee: “Wade Boggs looks weird. Like a serial killer.”
• I think we’re possibly within 45 minutes of game time.
• I’m predicting a 6-4 AL victory. The AL’s pitching advantage is the difference. But for the first time in a LONG time, I would actually favor the NL’s line-up, particularly at the top. Ichiro/Jeter gets schooled by Hanley Ramirez/Chase Utley. You wouldn’t know it by listening to Tim McCarver, but Jeter is an average baseball player at this stage of his career. Ichiro has finally brought his average up to .300, but Hanley Ramirez is one of the Top 5 offensive players in the game.

First Inning

Top Half:

- Hallelujah, the game’s on!

- I can barely watch the T.V. when Hanley Ramirez is on. To think that I could have been watching him for the past two seasons instead of Julio Lugo!!! Sure, it’s nice having Beckett and Mike Lowell, but trading a future Hall-of-Famer always has its drawbacks.

- Wow, Cliff Lee is fired up. Let’s hope — for Cleveland’s sake — that he doesn’t overthrow and have to go on the DL like Pedro Martinez did after striking out 5 in a row to start the 1999 All-Star game.

- Nice, quick half inning. 17 more of those and it might make up for the 2 hours worth of pre-game introductions.

Middle Half:

- How is Milwaukee going to deal with the impending free agency of Ben Sheets AND CC Sabathia? I like the trade they made, they saw an opportunity to boast one of the top rotations in the game and they took it — unlike the New York Yankees, who have quickly grown into chickenshit “let’s hold onto all of our precious prospects” mode — but I doubt the Brewers can sign both. I would sign Sheets if I were them. Sabathia has pitched a lot of innings and would soon look like Jabba the Hut after a year or two of living in Milwaukee.

- What a chump A-Rod is for not participating in the Home Run Derby. The whole “it screws up your swing” meme is complete bullshit and he knows it. You think that Josh Hamilton regrets his experience? A-Rod’s a coward, that’s why he didn’t participate in the Derby. He was afraid of looking bad. While he may undoubtedly be remembered as one of the greatest players to ever play the game, he’ll never be a legend.

Second Inning

Top Half:

- Wasn’t Albert Pujols supposed to have blown out an elbow by now?

- Who saw this season coming from Chipper Jones?

- Ryan Braun strikes out! Jews everywhere hang their heads in disgust.

Middle Half:

- That Kevin Costner movie “Swing State” looks painfully bad. My advice: rent the 1993 Clint Eastwood-directed Kevin Costner movie, A Perfect World, instead. Very under-rated film. Highly recommended.

- The Red Sox don’t have much choice other than to pick up Manny Ramirez’s option for next season. What else are they going to do? Sign Pat Burrell or Adam Dunn to an overpriced 4 or 5 year contract, trade Kevin Youkilis and Craig Hansen to Colorado for Matt Holiday (that was a proposed trade), or give LF to rookie Brandon Moss? It’s only a one year commitment, hardly a difficult decision.

- I always liked Milton Bradley. Crazy as all hell, but I’m glad he’s doing well for himself. It’s doubtful that he’ll be able to maintain his equilibrium though — If I were the Rangers, I’d trade him before the deadline and restock my minor league pitching depth.

- Kevin Youkilis strikes out! The Jews are growing restless!

Third Inning

Top Half:

- Yogi Berra making fun of Derek Jeter. Classic.

- Is there a more pathetic thing in sports than Yankee fans who wear those fake Jason Giambi moustaches? Yay, he’s hitting again, so let’s forget that he’s a steroid-taking, gold thong wearing moron. If the average human body is 60% water, I would guess that Giambi’s is 15% water an 45% HGH at this point.

- I wonder if “Fukodome” is actually prounounced “Foo-kay-dome” in Japan? Are there any Japanese out there that can confirm this for me?

Middle Half:

- I also have to say that I loved the Chicago Cubs trade for Rich Harden. Pair him with Carlos Zambrano and that’s nice 1-2. Unfortunately Harden is as fragile as a leg-shaped lamp and there’s at best a 10% likelihood that he makes it to the post-season in one piece.

- Nobody hits into a smoother double play than Derek Jeter. He’s truly a gifted athlete.

Fourth Inning

Top Half:

- Raise your hand if you’re excited for the X-Files Movie? Nobody?

- Halladay is a free agent after the 2009 season. It’s funny you don’t hear any discussion of the Blue Jays considering putting him on the trade block. I would expect they could extract no less than 2 top tier prospects as well as a couple of mid-grade prospects for him.

- What a laser from Ichiro to gun down Pujols at second. There’s nothing more enjoyable than having an outfielder on the team you root for who has a gun for an arm like Ichiro or Vlad Guerrero. I still miss Dwight Evans.

Middle Half:

- Madonna? Seriously, A-Rod? That’s who you end your marriage for? Just when you thought he couldn’t sink any lower, he starts dating a 49 year old woman. He could have had a Paris Hilton/Lindsey Lohan sandwich, but he settled for someone who was born in the 1950s.

Fifth Inning

Top Half:

- Pineapple Express will be a huge hit. I read the screenplay and it is hands-down hilarious. After The Dark Knight it’s the movie I’m most looking forward to this summer.

- Home run by Matt Holiday and we have a run on the board!

- If the Rays are serious about this season, Holiday would be a good addition. They certainly have the prospects to get the job done. It’s a question of whether they have the desire. I doubt it.

Middle Half:

- I was a little surprised that Billy Beane traded Rich Harden. The As are 7 games over .500 and had a realistic chance at the Wild Card. Methinks Beane might know a little something about the health status of Rich Harden that he’s not letting on. To think of all the pitching talent that Oakland has traded over the years — including Danny Haren, the guy on the mound for the NL — and they still have the best ERA in all of Major League baseball!

- Ian Kinsler with a stolen base! First the Jews control the media, the banks, and Hollywood, and now we’re taking over baseball. What will we think of next?

- Thankfully for Derek Jeter there are already two outs so he can’t hit into a double-play…Only a ground out to the pitcher. Rally killed.

Sixth Inning

Top Half:

- If I were Jason Varitek I would be significantly embarrassed to be named to the All-Star team. I know, it’s a great honor to be chosen by the players, but have a little self-respect and come up with a “hamstring injury” or something. Is his .218 average the worst in baseball All-Star game history? To think just how much A.J. Pierzynski has to be hated by his fellow players for them to choose Varitek over him.

- Lance Berkman drives a deep out to Sizemore in Center, Hanley Ramirez tags up, and the NL takes a commanding 2-0 lead.

- You can choose to call it classy, but I prefer to see it as Terry Francona embarrassing himself with this whole removing A-Rod and Jeter in the middle of the inning so they can get a big cheer. Terry, have a little respect for yourself. These Yankee fans deserve an opportunity to be dipped in a barrel of feces before they deserve an opportunity to cheer for their hometown clowns.

Middle Half:

- I feel like it’s time for a good All-Star game beaning. Milton Bradley is coming up soon. Maybe we could get the first brawl in the history of the All-Star game.

- That was a nice pitch by Haren to strike out Sizemore. Again, I reiterate, it’s incredible the amount of talent the As have had to trade.

Seventh Inning

Top Half:

-Apparently Pabelbon’s pregnant wife getting threatened by Yankees fans is a lead story on the Nightly News here in Los Angeles. I wonder if this story will get national attention? I ask you, do Yankee fans have any decency?

- Can we all agree that it would be nice if the Minnesota Twins overtook the Chicago White Sox in the AL Central?

- I just saw the the Clippers traded a 2nd round pick to the Nuggets for Marcus Camby. Good move by the Clippers, I’m shocked. Camby’s only under contract for 2 seasons and will improve their interior defense signifcantly. Probably not the move that Clippers fans were hoping for after losing Elton Brand, but they may be better off in the long run.

Middle Half:

- Wait, Corey Hart is in right field? Is he wearing his sunglasses at night?…Sorry.

- Edwin Volquez really does look like a young Pedro Martinez out there. He brings the ball up higher before his release, but very similar to Martinez.

- J.D. DREW ties it up with a 2 run jack! I think I’ve mentioned this before, but J.D. Drew’s emergence into an All-Star this season has me worried that the apocalypse is just around the corner. I will never be shocked by anything for the rest of my life after his turn-around.

Eighth Inning

Top Half:

- If I were Jonathan Pabelbon, I would just turn and start firing pitches into the stands. Fucking cowards.

- And the next time the Red Sox face New York, I’d plug a few Yankees batters for good measure.

- Yankees fan start chanting “over-rated,” which of course is a chant they stole from Boston Celtics fans. How pathetic. I have a chant for Yankee fans: how about “YEAR 2000!…YEAR 2000!…YEAR 2000!”

- NL takes a 3-2 lead after Navarro throws a ball into centerfield, allowing Tejada to get to third and score on a sac fly.

Middle Half:

- You know what, it might be a good thing if the AL loses, because that way the Red Sox would be able to celebrate at Fenway Park after their 4 game sweep of the World Series.

- Hey, were you aware that this is the last season at Yankee Stadium?! Shouldn’t they have been drilling that into our heads every 5 minutes for the entire length of the game?

- I’m going to go out on a limb and predict 10 All-Star appearances for Longoria’s career. He ties the game with a double down the left field line.

Ninth Inning

Top Half:

- K-Rod is into the game. Apparently he has 38 saves on the season! I take back my earlier comment that Rivera should be closing this game. He’ll be a free agent this offseason, can you say 5 years, $55 million?

- Oh please God, let Rivera blow this game.

- Seriously, Terry, neither Rivera nor his mongrel fans deserve your deference.

- Oh well, strike em out, throw em out and the inning is over.

Middle Half:

- C’mon Kinsler, hit a walk-off. Do it for the Jews!

- Oh my sweet Lord, the Yankees are coming to Fenway Park next week! Let’s pray that Radio Shack is stocked up on batteries!

- Kinsler strikes out. First the Exodus and now this! Haven’t we suffered enough?

- J.D. is going hit another one, I can feel it…and he strikes out.

Tenth Inning

Top Half:

- Rivera’s still out there. I like Terry’s strategy now: wear out Rivera in the All-Star game before the Yankees come to town next week. Brilliant.

- 1st and third with one out. Rivera may blow this yet.

- Crap, double play. It looks like Rivera will get out of the game unscathed…unless Terry is thinking of bringing him out there for a third inning? That would be too good, but it’s not happening.

Middle Half:

- Uggla was Uggly on that play.

- Uggla does it again, right through the wickets and it’s first and third with no outs. Oh right, Uggla was also the batter who just hit into the double play. You think he might just want to dig a hole out at second base right about now?

- Walking the bases loaded. I like the strategy, not much else you can do at this point.

- Oh thank goodness Uggla didn’t choke on that one, might have scarred him for life. One out, bases still loaded.

- Longoria up with a good chance to be MVP if he can get the run home…And he grounds out feebly to third and there’s two outs. This game has had quite the ending.

- WOW, what a play by Tejada! He has to charge hard, the ball hits the lip of the glass, he fields it and then he makes a powerful off-balance throw to just catch the runner! How about Aaron Cook’s performance under pressure there?

- How excited is Uggla right now?

Eleventh Inning

Top Half:

- If this game ends in a tie, I am going to be SO pissed off for spending my entireevening doing this live blog. If I do a live blog, I’m going to pretty much demand that I at least get to see a winner and a loser.

- Rafael Soria pitches to Christian Guzman — quite the parade of stars.

- Well, that half inning was quite a downer from the theatrics of bottom of the tenth. Let’s hope this game ends soon.

Middle Half:

- Kinsler with a lead-off single! The Jews may rise again!

- Kinsler caught stealing on a pitch-out! And he wasn’t even tagged by Tejada! These umpires are all anti-Semites, I tell ya!

- J.D. Drew singles up the middle which should have been the game-winning hit. He still might get the MVP unless there’s a walk-off home run.

- What a play at the plate! Great throw by McLouth, great block by Martin. There’s nothing better than a bang-bang play at the plate.

- On to the 12th. My fiancee is NOT happy.

Twelfth Inning

Top Half:

- I promised to get my fiancee Pinkberry when the game is over so I think I’ve bought myself another inning or two.

- What the hell kind of flip was that from Morneau? This isn’t a egg-tossing contest, throw the ball!

- Then Morneau fields a bunt that was going foul. Is he trying to make Dan Uggla feel better about himself?

- Francona decides to walk the bases loaded.

- Longest game in ASG history. Figures.

- Uggla strikes out. Is it possible to retroactively revoke a player’s All-Star selection?

- A pitching change? Seriously, Terry? This might have been one of his worst coached games ever. I’m dying.

Middle Half:

- Carlos Guillen DEEP TO LEFT…and it’s off the wall. It’s officially the game that never ends.

- Uggla almost boots another one, but gets the out. Will they walk the bases loaded and try for the double play?

- Nope, they bring the infield in. Strange, I would have at least put a runner on at first base and tried for a conventional double play.

- Longoria strikes out and the fiancee is getting very restless.

- Now they intentionally walk Morneau and Kinsler again has the chance to be the hero.

- Kinsler grounds out to third. Maybe he’s only half-Jewish?

Thirteenth Inning

Top Half:

- I’m slowly losing my will to live, but I’ll press on.

- How long before one of those broken maple bats lodges into a pitcher’s face?

- Now I’m starting to wonder, what happens if the AL runs out of pitchers? Scott Kazmir threw 104 pitches on Sunday so he won’t be able to go too long. Will they have to bring in a position player? In which case would Kazmir have to play in the outfield? Or will they just call it a tie? This is incredibly intriguing.

- Was George Sherrill and his 4.08 ERA really the best that the Orioles had to offer this season? I can’t tell you how thankful I am not to be an Orioles fan.

Middle Half:

- Someone named Carlos Marmol is now in the game to pitch for the NL. Even Peter Gammons is scrambling for his program to figure out who this guy is.

- Marmol has an ERA of 13.50 for his last 12 appearances. My mistake, All Star all the way.

- Oh my dear Lord, ANOTHER error for Uggla? I feel like the crowd at the end of Braveheart: Mercy! Mercy! Mercy!

- J.D. Drew steals a base. He can taste that MVP trophy now. He will NOT be denied.

- I’m guessing that Marmol is a Dominican based on his Pedro Martinez-like delivery. This is incredible: there must be an entire generation of Dominican pitchers who based their delivery on Pedro and will soon decend on Major League Baseball. I’m very excited.

Fourteenth Inning

Top Half:

- McLouth drills it to right, back, back, back! And J.D. Drew brings it it at the wall. I could have sworn that one was long gone. It was like the hand of God kept that one in the park. This game might not be ending anytime soon.

- And Russell Martin clocks one deep to right…and Drew catches it just short of the track. What’s it going to take?

- You can’t deny George Sherrill, son! On to the bottom of the 14th.

Middle Half:

- Why is Clint Hurdle using Brandon Webb when he has Brad Lidge still in the bullpen?? Webb also pitched on Sunday and the D-Backs didn’t want him in the game. This makes absolutely no sense.

- And Brandon Webb mows the poor AL down.

Fifteenth Inning

Top Half:

- Scott Kazmir is in the game. Now I’m really hoping that this game goes beyond this inning and we find out what happens when the AL runs out of pitchers. What recourse does Major League Baseball have if there’s a tie? It’s not like they can retroactively declare that the league that has the better record in interleague play has home field advantage in the World Series, can they? I bet they’ll have to do something stupid like a coin flip. Too funny.

- Kazmir walks Wright but gets a one pitch groundout from Guzman. My vision is growing blurry. At least I live on the West Coast and it’s not even 11 PM yet.

Middle Half:

- Now Brad Lidge is in the game, the last pitcher for the NL. Oh please let this game make it to the 16th inning!

- Leadoff single by Morneau. You know the AL is going to win now that I want it to continue.

- Ryan Ludwick makes a great diving catch on Ian Kinsler. Anti-Semite!

- Dioner Navarro singles to center and J.D. Drew is up with the MVP on the line. One lousy, little single and he’s got it.

- J.D. walks. He’s now been on base three times with a steal and has 2 RBIs. He may have the MVP yet.

- Young with a fly to right…play at the plate…SAFE! Wow, that was close. He might have made it by a toe. AL WINS!

- Terry Francona is a little TOO excited. Eleven wins in a row for the American League. I guess the Red Sox will be celebrating in Chicago or Arizona this year. Alas.

- J.D. Drew gets the MVP after all. Suck it Yankees fans, suck it! Ha ha!

Peace, I’m out of here.