I am the smartest man alive! Joe Biden Nominated as Vice President

Sorry for the long absence, but I got hired for a job that actually required that I do some actual work. But I’m back now as my time has opened up again plus I had to gloat a little. Need I remind you all that ON JULY 7TH I predicted that Barack Obama would select Joe Biden for his Vice-President. That’s July 7th as in 47 DAYS before the actual selection when I wrote:

I still believe Brian Schweitzer is the best candidate, but the highly respected Joe Biden is a safe, if not sexy, choice. If you haven’t noticed, the Obama campaign has been trying to portray Obama as a more mainstream, conventional candidate. Joe Biden would do nothing but buttress that image. Plus, Joe Biden would clean up in the Vice-Presidential debate just about anyone John McCain could produce.

The rationale for the choice has changed slightly from when I wrote that as I tend to believe that the crisis in Georgia (the Balkans, not Atlanta) played the paramount role in Biden’s selection. Obama has miraculously been able to get by with staking his entire foreign policy/Iraq War judgment on a speech he gave in 2002, but he unfortunately did not have a high school essay on the Russian-Georgian conflict that he could allude to as the basis for his superior judgment on that particular war. To compensate, the campaign selected Biden in order to fill a gap that they foresaw as a major line of attack for the McCain campaign should that conflict — or any other conflict — flare up between now and the election. However, then (JULY 7TH!) and now, I still believe the Biden selection was a mistake. Don’t get me wrong, I like Biden and strongly considered supporting him in 2004 before I settled on Wesley Clark until switching allegiance to John Kerry when Clark bowed out (it’s amusing to me now how easy and reflexive that switch actually was). I’m not particularly looking forward to having to listen to Joe Biden on a daily basis for the next 2 months but that’s not why I oppose the pick. Here’s why:

1. Why no Clinton? Obviously this complaint is not specific to Biden alone, as choosing anyone other than Hillary Clinton would have raised the hackles of numerous Clinton supporters, but to anyone that has been following this Presidential campaign in the slightest, Hillary Clinton was a no-brainer (the irrational, deranged Clinton-haters aside).  Supposedly the Obama camp was concerned about having Bill Clinton out on the campaign trail, fearing that he might say or do something detrimental to the campaign? Really? Hasn’t anyone on the Obama campaign bothered to see Godfather II or do they just spend all their time reading self-affirming articles on the Huffington Post: you know, “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer”? Does that not ring a bell? The Obama camp is treating Bill Clinton like he’s a Fredo. Bill Clinton is a motherfucking Godfather! You saw it last night! When he’s motivated there is nobody better to have on your side. Now what’ll happen is that Bill will return home and wait for a phone call from the Obama camp asking him to hit the road for them or make some appearances with Obama. That call will never come though because of Obama’s pettiness and arrogance. Instead, Bill will stew and then sooner or later he’ll be interviewed and his raw emotions will be expressed in a manner that undermines his convention speech. Bill’s a sensitive dude, how can the Obama camp not foresee this entirely predictable scenario? Plus, they’re worried about Bill Clinton saying something gauche, and yet they got out and choose the biggest gasbag in the entire U.S. Senate for V.P., which obviously places him as front runner for biggest gasbag in the known universe. And furthermore, just like Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden voted for the Iraq War and just like Bill Clinton, Joe Biden made a, shall we say, less than politically correct statement about Barack Obama. And somehow Joe Biden should be forgiven whereas Hillary and Bill are nothing less than devils incarnate? Talk about hypocrisy. I know everyone seems to believe that unity is all around us, that hatchets have been buried, that happy days are here again, but you’re deluding yourself if you think that. I’m here to tell you that wounds are far from sown. Joe Biden didn’t exact wrench them open but he was hardly a salve.

2. Foreign Policy Dilemma. My biggest problem with the Biden selection is that it is a de facto concession that foreign policy is a problem for Barack Obama and furthermore that foreign policy can and should be an offensive front for the Obama camp. Look, Democrats couldn’t win an election in 2004 when the Iraq War was at its nadir and we had a genuine war hero as our candidate and now we’re going to win the foreign policy debate with a community organizer as our candidate??? Get fucking serious. This is not to say that the Obama/Biden shouldn’t attack McCain on foreign policy. On the contrary, they need to attack but just not with a frontal assault. Rather, they should attack guerrilla style, like the Viet Cong. Undermine John McCain with negative attacks on his notorious temper and how he can’t be trusted due to his bellicosity. This whole notion that Obama/Biden can/should go toe to toe with John “Hanoi Hilton” McCain is just reckless and stupid. The largest dilemma is that should there be another international crisis between now and election day, everyone is going to look to Joe Biden NOT Barack Obama for an opinion. After a while, people are going to start wondering, why am I voting for schmuck #1 when schmuck #2 seems to have the experience and knowledge.

As for my Republican pick for V.P., my guess that it would be Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is not looking so hot. I don’t back off my belief that she would still be the best possible choice, but it now appears down to ass clown Mitt Romney or Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty. Pawlenty wouldn’t be a bad choice as I wrote that Pawlenty is the:

The young, handsome Governor of a nominally blue state who was one of the earliest supporters of John McCain, serving as his national co-chair since 2007. He has an immigration plan that is to the right of John McCain’s plan, which might play better with conservatives. He’s personable and friendly and a big hockey fan who practices with the Minnesota Wild – he even used to have a hockey player mullet, which he recently trimmed. He’s generally liked by social and economic conservatives.

The political atmosphere has certainly changed since I wrote that on July 9th and it no longer appears necessary for John McCain to throw a hail mary which is why I guessed that he would pick Palin. However, I still see him as a significant underdog and he would do himself the most good by selecting a Palin or possibly an Eric Cantor. However, Pawlenty would not be the disaster that Mitt Romney would be — Romney would likely spell the end for John McCain. Pawlenty is likable and disarming and would actually play well in a debate against Joe Biden who’s more in the Dick Cheney mold. We shall see soon.