I AM THE SMARTEST MAN IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD! SARAH PALIN SELECTED AS V.P.!

You’ve got to be kidding me! On JULY 7TH I PREDICTED JOE BIDEN FOR DEMOCRATIC V.P. and on JULY 9TH I PREDICTED SARAH PALIN WOULD BE REPUBLICAN V.P.!!!! The entire political world of analysts and journalists and commentators CAN ALL SUCK IT! You hear me? Suck it!!! Here’s what I wrote 50 days ago:

Sarah Palin: Current Governor of Alaska, former two term mayor of Wasilla, Alaska.

Upside: A young, attractive female Governor who has had abnormally high approval ratings during her tenure as Governor. She is VERY popular. Her approval ratings have been as high as the 90s and consistently in the 80s, making her the most popular major politician in the United States. And it almost goes without saying that with approval numbers that high she is nearly as popular among Democrats as she is among Republicans.

Where did she come from? Well, in January 2004, she resigned in protest as head of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission due to ethical violations by another commissioner, Randy Ruedrich, who was ALSO REPUBLICAN STATE CHAIRMAN. She became a political outcast by taking a stand on the issue of government corruption. But lo and behold. she was vindicated later in 2004 when Ruedrich was forced to pay a $12,000 fine for breaking state ethics laws. She instantly became a principled crusader against corruption in the eyes of the public and a thorn in the side of Republican leaders.

But she wasn’t done yet. In 2005, she joined a Democrat in filing an ethic complaint against state Attorney General Gregg Renkes who was also a long-time campaign manager for Republican Governor Frank Murkowski. Renkes resigned a few weeks later, and Palin was again lauded as a caped crusader.

During the 2006 Republican primary for Governor, she crushed incumbent Governor Murkowski and then defeated the Democratic nominee by 8 points. Now I’m not an Alaskan and I don’t even know an Alaskan so I can’t speak for them personally, but I would hazard that the reason she enjoys such universal approval across the political spectrum is that she is seen as a politician who actually takes stands based on her beliefs, even if they are not politically expedient (hello, Senator Obama?). You may disagree with her on policy issues, but you’re going to respect anyone who radiates such personal integrity, who actually puts their money where their mouth is. Senator McCain has placed his personal sacrifice for his country as among the preeminent reasons that he more qualified than Barack Obama to be President. Who better to reinforce that image than a woman who was willing to sacrifice her political career in order to fight government corruption? Palin, who is pro-life, also just brought to term her 5^th child who has Down Syndrome.

A few other nuggets: she was a high school basketball star that took her team to the Alaska State Championship; she was second runner-up in the Miss Alaska beauty contest; she is a lifetime NRA member and her oldest son joined the Army last year.

Upside/Downside: I’m not sure whether to characterize this observation as an upside or a downside, but the fact of the matter is that Sarah Palin is hot. A former beauty queen, she has graduated to a kind of sexy, smart, Tina Fey/Naughty Librarian level of sultriness; prim and proper during the day, but a tiger in the bedroom at night. Now we all know that John McCain enjoys the company of younger women, particularly beauty queens. Voters may very well project lecherous thoughts into McCain’s head during every joint appearance.

And here was my prediction ON JULY 9TH:

Best Pick: Sarah Palin. Her youth and inexperience on foreign policy matters are handicaps, but her appeal to conservatives and the novelty/boldness of her selection would guarantee McCain plenty of good press. The former high school basketball star, beauty queen, and principled crusader against government malfeasance is the type of story that would have reporters crying tears of joy. Whether you agree with her on the issues or not, it would be very difficult for Democrats to besmirch her integrity as a corrupt, hypocritical Republican (not that the Huffington Post or Daily Kos are known for their integrity. I’d put the over/under on two days before they’d start attacking her for giving birth to her child with Down Syndrome. Perhaps they might advocate for the old Spartan practice of leaving “defective” babies on the slope of a mountain to die. There’s a real, palpable sickness on the far left in this country. They are allowing their arrogance and anger to subjugate their sense of decency. If there’s anything they should have learned from the past 7 years, it’s that there are consequences for that kind of behavior. A reckoning, if you will. It is sad and unfortunate that they lack the self-awareness to see that.)

Runner-Up: Eric Cantor. I flip-flopped back and forth on this decision (uh-oh, there goes my political career), but I finally went with Palin over Cantor even though Cantor represents a vital swing state. Cantor would still be a fine selection for McCain, but I think his status as a white male marks him as too conventional for this election [note: as a Jew, I do NOT self-identify as a white male. Judaism is unique among major religions in that it is a religion AND an ethnicity. However, rest assured our national media will characterize Cantor as a white guy). Cantor also lacks the image of being a reformer.

Likely Pick: Sarah Palin. I have a feeling that John McCain has a fairly thorough understanding of the situation he faces: a bad economy, rising gas prices, voters who are angry and fed-up with our government leaders, and a charismatic opponent that has a pliant national media eating out of  his hands. A year ago McCain’s Presidential campaign was all but buried and he decided – whether through principle or not (not that it matters) – to make the highly unpopular decision to back the troop surge in Iraq. And here he is. He needs to hitch his ride to another long-shot and hope that lightning strikes. What does he have to lose? Without a doubt, this is his last Presidential election. If he plays it safe with a Mitt Romney or Mike Huckabee, he’s road kill. Sometimes being the significant underdog is a blessing in disguise. McCain needs to make a pick that shows daring and boldness, that shakes up people’s perception of him, that wakes up his conservative base, that reminds the voting public that he is not George Bush III. I can’t think of anyone better than Sarah Palin to accomplish that. John McCain needs to roll the dice one more time. With the number of disaffected Clinton voters who don’t plan on voting for Obama actually GROWING in number, selecting Palin for VP might just be the tipping point that leads to a mass exodus of Clinton supporters away from Obama. Like I said, what does McCain have to lose?

I mean, seriously, is there a more prescient person in the entire world??? Why aren’t I working for CNN or FoxNews you ask? Why? Because I’m too intelligent for those douchebags. More later.

**UPDATE**

So the Obama campaign decided to attack Palin for her experience:

“Today, John McCain put the former mayor of a town of 9,000 with zero foreign policy experience a heartbeat away from the presidency.  Governor Palin shares John McCain’s commitment to overturning Roe v. Wade, the agenda of Big Oil and continuing George Bush’s failed economic policies — that’s not the change we need, it’s just more of the same,” said Bill Burton, Obama Campaign Spokesman.

As usual, this is a mistake. The Obama campaign just doesn’t get it. Women look at this and say that unlike Obama, McCain believes that he has to earn their votes. Yes, many women do not share the some positions on the issues as Palin, but many of them can respect her accomplishments as a person and as a women. For the Obama campaign to have the chutzpah to attack her as inexperiened is just foolish. Better for them to ignore Palin entirely. Despite what the punditry would have you believe, there are plenty of Clinton supporters whose feelings are still raw. Attack Sarah Palin for being “inexperienced” when in reality she has just as much, if not more, than Barack Obama, they’re going to quickly diminish any progress that came out of the convention. Why was Tim Kaine, who had just as much executive experience as Sarah Palin, so reflexively considered a good choice for Barack Obama’s V.P. and yet Sarah Palin is not? Obama supporters had better tread very carefully with Sarah Palin. Stick with the issues and ignore everything else. I’m sorry but they have long ago lost the right to attack a woman on anything other than policy positions. Keep it up and a lot of Clinton supporters will quickly empathize with Palin and will re-live all of the rampant misogyny of the primary all over again. And you know what? This time around they understand that their votes are enough to make the difference in the outcome of the election. The Obama campaign had better wake up to that reality soon. Clinton women are watching…closely.